I was scrolling through one night and I saw this post: https://vulcanpost.com/215551/drop-out-nus-pursue-passion-gsews/

I really dislike this kind of title but because it was about craft, I read it anyway. And I was so, so inspired by Grace.

I then went to stalk her on instagram (ha, not shy at all to admit HAHA) and there was one post where she talked about her insecurities and negativity (go to her instagram https://instagram.com/gsews/ and read if you want ;>), which really hit me hard. This person is almost exactly the same as me in terms of thought process.

I'm quite a negative person, and of course, being realistic is better than being negative, but you know, it's hard. Even though I KNOW I have to be realistic, I still expect a lot from myself, and I am always, ALWAYS, very unhappy about my craft works, It's very hard to reach the point where I go "THIS IS IT" and when I do I stay happy all day long and I feel satisfied. But when things go wrong, I always end up trying TOO HARD to make it 'right'. And trying too hard for anything means it's not going to work out. Now that I know that about myself, I'm trying to stop myself and just rest for the day. But it really affects me. And when someone else comments about some things, I get annoyed, but it usually isn't target to that person though. It's because I KNOW it's not perfect, and I KNOW everything you're saying. But I can't get it. That's where the frustration usually is.

After reading her post, honestly, I really want to get to know her myself. I secretly wish we could be friends, so we can support each other and give encouragement. Especially when you understand how someone else feels. Having the same mindset sometimes really helps, because in my opinion, most of the time you just need acceptance and understanding. Not really a solution.

So I was THICK SKINNED ENOUGH to direct message her on instagram and chatted with her a little regarding the frustration stuff. And suddenly I thought of making her a bag out of polymer clay of her own design.

I want handxmade to be somewhere people look for when they want to create memories of something precious to them. Something that was an important part of their life, or still is. Something that they're proud of. Where they can look at and say "I did this", "this was mine".

And gsews is doing exactly what she wants to do, what she loves. She risked her 'future' that her education might have given her for this, but she probably doesn't regret it. Bravery.

I asked her whether it was okay, and I told her I won't charge her. I really just wanted to do it. AND TRUTHFULLY SPEAKING, I wanted to make it as detailed as possible, and it'll be yet another first. Like I said, I don't want to be giving something to someone when I feel that it might be even a tad bit not satisfactory. (sigh perfectionist)

And this is the end result.

I think it looks decent- FROM AFAR. LOL. If you really look at it carefully, it isn't very good. :( AS EXPECTED SIGH. I spend almost 7 hours on this I think, just testing and trying. Especially I was trying to get the texture on the clay as similar to the real one itself, the zip etc. THE CHECKERED INSIDE WAS QUITE TEDIOUS AS I HAD TO PUT THE SQUARES TOGETHER. I mean, I probably could have painted it......but yeah..... I even tried to make the zip but it wasn't very well done either....

Here's the picture Grace passed to me as reference for the clay bag! :) I REALLY LOVE HOW THE OUTSIDE LOOK. If you like what you see, do go to her website, http://www.gsews.com/ to order!! It's currently under revamp though, SO YOU CAN GO TO HER INSTAGRAM https://instagram.com/gsews/ and wait for updates while you ogle at her gorgeous HANDMADE BAGS, HANDMADE. Gosh.

More photos of the bag at other angles. The backstrap is leaned towards the right D: SIGHHHHHHHHH.

Oh well. It really was a great experience though and I'm really grateful that she allowed me to make this. ^^

*LEVEL UP*

GSEWS BAG